out in daylight, my potential

D&D Adventurer's League is tonight, and I keep getting excited because I miss my rogue and haven't played her in like a month... and then I remember. Tonight is only 1-4 tables. She is level 5 now.

My level 2 baby cleric is fun too, and since clerics are super rare in our store for some reason, she's really useful, but... I miss rogueing.

And now, a story of the best thing that rogue has done to date, because I never actually told anyone and it was amazing.

So Kithri is a halfling rogue who one-shot a hippogriff on her first session. She is a tiny damage machine. Her girlfriend is Percy, a half-elf druid who until recently mostly fought in direwolf form. (Wild shape is getting a little weaker as she levels, so she took a level in sorcerer. One terrifying level.)

We're all on one end of a 90-foot long room, blocked from proceeding further into the room by a rank of enemy orcs. (I still protest the fact that this room is apparently completely empty with nothing to hide behind, because who keeps a room this big for literally nothing, but fine.) At the far end of the room is the orc leader, with his hand hovering over a spell scroll that explodes - and takes the whole building down - if he touches it. We have three rounds of combat before he gives up on his lackeys killing us and just blows the place.

We can't get past the orcs we're fighting without probably taking some really bad hits from at least three of them, the room is longer than most characters' dash speed (and significantly more distance than a poor halfling can cover in a turn), and I have a bad feeling that if I end my turn coming toward the leader but not having actually reached him, he's going to use his explodey scroll early.

actuallyclintbarton and I spend literally the entire combat when we're not taking our turns with our heads together quietly strategizing, while we all whittle down the enemies in front of us, and one of our casters shoves a couple back with thunderwave to make a little bit of an opening to move through.

My turn on the final round, and Kithri significantly ahead of Percy in the initiative order:
"Okay, Kithri's going to ready an action for when Percy stops moving."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"O... kay."

And finally it's Percy's turn. No one else is anywhere near the orc leader, the raven familiar someone sent to try to steal the scroll earlier is gone, and we have like three people's turns before we are all going to die. Percy and Kithri have practiced a move where, in direwolf form, Percy can run up to Kithri, duck her head between Kithri's legs and, as long as Kithri manages her Dex save, pick her up and carry her as a mount. And direwolves can dash 100 feet in a turn.

Kithri rode her girlfriend across that massive, improbably empty room, rolled off, snatched the explosive scroll from under the orc leader's hand, ducked back under her girlfriend to hide in the space of one turn, and shoved the scroll under her armor in between her boobs so it couldn't get snatched back. That's the point at which everyone at the table fucking lost it.


...also, our last session before Christmas, which was our first session at the 5-10 tables, I want to let it be known that Kithri took a single point of damage. It was because I forgot halflings can't crit fail anything. She smacked herself in the face with her own bowstring.